Book Review: The Heart of Dominance by Anton Fulmen

Rating:

Who Is This Book for?: Anyone who wants to better understand what it means to be Dominant. Appropriate for new players and old alike.

What Will I Learn?: Recommendations on how to contain your BDSM relationship appropriately, and how to determine your flavor of dominance.

Warnings: None

My Thoughts:

This book is essential and it made me feel at home. Fulmen sees the inner world the way I see and feel it: As a place for the mind and body to explore darkness together; a creative place where you can be as devious as you want. It gives you a glimpse into the mind of someone who understands the depth of dominance, the culture of it, the nuances of the scene. Fulmen emphasizes throughout the book that the true work of dominance is to enable and inspire submission, encouraging the dominant to create opportunities for submission versus trying to force it.

Fulmen hones in on what it means to create a container for your relationships to prevent the confusion of your dynamic spilling into your life. This is invaluable advice to help create separation in your life and in your roles, and to assist in boundary creation. You will get a taste of what it means to embody dominance, what it means to really get consent, how to negotiate like a reasonable person, and how to navigate the living structures of relationships. I love the idea of thinking of your relationship as living, as something that has needs, limits, and is constantly evolving and growing. I believe if we thought of all of our relationships in this context it could have the potential to reduce conflict.

Fulmen reminds you that there are rules in all BDSM relationships, but that really you are the ones making them, and that they don’t have to overlap with those of your neighbor.

In this book, you get beautiful flashes of erotic behavior packaged in between clear and concise lessons with an air of acceptance to help you find your flavor of dominance.  This can help the novice and experienced practitioner alike to organize their wants and needs to help them better communicate them to their partners. 

This book is the first time I have seen the flavors of dominance so well explained, separated, and defined. This chapter in particular will be invaluable to someone who is trying to determine “who they are” as a Dominant. Reading through you will be able to imagine yourself in these roles with a submissive in order to help you cultivate the aspects of yourself that will lead to an appropriate Dominant self presentation and will help you to seek the type of submissive that will serve your needs and desires best.

Can’t recommend this one enough.