Why Was I Ghosted: Intentions

Conversation between a male submissive and Female Dominant:

Domme: Can you tell me about your history with BDSM play?

That Sub: I became interested when I was 18.

Domme: That's wonderful, what interested you and got you hooked?

That Sub: I had a girlfriend that liked to make all the decisions at the time and I found I missed that in other relationships since.

Domme: Can you tell me more about the dynamic the two of you created?

That Sub:  You ask a lot of questions. Do you cam? 

This makes me sad but is a fairly common occurrence. The Domme is correctly engaging in inquiry to get to know the new submissive in an attempt to build a foundation for a BDSM relationship. She is making an effort to tap into the submissive’s past in order to learn their origin story. This is a fantastic place to start to get to know your submissive and the drivers behind their participation in BDSM. Although the intent is never to be your submissive’s therapist, knowing the underlying drivers of their behaviors and desires can really give you some insight into how they think and therefore how to best control them.

The submissive here is clearly looking to use the Domme for a cam session as though she is a sex worker. Just because the female Domme is kinky and knowledgeable does not mean she is automatically looking to have an OnlyFans page. These two people are looking for different things and have different intentions regarding what they want. There are very few Dommes that want to sit around and watch men masturbate on camera all day for free. There are plenty who are charging for this if that is all you want.

In this case it would appear that the submissive found a real female dominant, which are somewhat rare to find in the wild, and blew the opportunity to impress her by focusing on his insatiable and immediate need for sexual fulfillment....a very common mistake in dating.