Why Was I Ghosted?
Conversation Failure Categories:
Overly Sexual
Poor Tone Interpretation
Sub: I'm on a nice walk in the woods, it's peaceful and beautiful. I'm listening to an audiobook on stress and self compassion.
That guy: have you ever done a sneaky cum in the woods
Sub: nope
That guy: lol you're the one with the fantasy
Sub: I don't recall saying I enjoy public play
That guy: agreed but It can be sexy and liberating
Sub: I'm going to return to my audiobook now
Lots of errors in such a short conversation. Impressive really.
First, when your sub is essentially meditating and participating in self help the desired response should be to encourage the behavior and understand that the tone is not overtly sexual or an invitation to be sexual. There are appropriate ways to be sexual here but they weren't achieved. Let's come back to that later.
Next, don't assume your submissive enjoys large categories of play when you haven't asked. This person assumed public play was enjoyable for the submissive because it was for him. When the submissive’s answer was dry and curt to indicate the misstep, his response was to blame it on the submissive to shirk responsibility. Perhaps he was confusing the sub with someone else. Regardless, own up to your mistakes quickly and with grace instead of pretending they didn't happen.
Lastly, if you make a sexual comment out of place and the person you're courting turns it down or redirects you don't continue to pressure the behavior or idea. Don't bolster your own ego by implying it was a good idea despite its rejection. This appears immature.
If you'd like to be sexual here return to the tone that has been set: serenity. Get the submissive connected with you then test the waters. Approach with intimacy first. Something like: "I wish I was walking with you so I can also experience this beauty. If it's as quiet and as private as it sounds, I'd be tempted to pull us off the path and sneak us behind a tree, how do you feel about play in public?" This example response implies desire to be with the submissive, acknowledges the setting, indicates his sexual wishes without being objectifying and checks for consent.
At the very least, when you don't know your partner, always check for consent.
